I know there is a running joke with men saying, “How can I know what a woman wants if she doesn’t know what she wants herself!?" We all know how frustrating it is not to know what we want to eat, what to wear, which life direction to take, which project to work on, how to feel, what we like the most, what our purpose is, and why we are here! WE HATE THAT WE DON’T KNOW! The yearning to simply know is vast. The even more frustrating part about it is that many women are wildly honest about it in their unintentional, unenthusiastic approach to life. When a woman doesn’t know what she wants, she doesn’t have anything keeping her excited and enthusiastic. When you don’t know what you want, you don’t know where you’re going, and that route in life becomes scary, overwhelming, exhausting, and unfulfilling. So how could anyone be intentional or enthusiastic under those conditions?
The Quest for Happiness
Yes, we know women just want to be happy. But far too often that happiness is temporarily fulfilled by things that makes us feel good. We don't really know what makes us feel good outside of doing something or having something. It’s time for women to know what they want at the core, so that life can be simple. The task may not be easy, but the list is very simple.
For far too long, women have not been given what they want because it was never a deep enough desire for someone to figure out what she needs. This leaves women doing everything, hoping to discover the things that will finally bring inner satisfaction. "Maybe if I get a really good job, get married, have kids, be an entrepreneur, follow my dreams, get a sugar daddy, have more sex, watch my favorite shows, go to a party, go out to eat, buy more clothes, buy a house." All of these desires come from a place of, “this will make me happy. I’ll feel better when…” Or it comes from the desire to relieve the inner discomfort that comes from yearning for meaning in life.
A Debate on Happiness
I recently had a friendly debate with a wise black Christian man about happiness, and he made a good point. He essentially said happiness is not constant; it’s ever-changing, based on where you are in life, so you can never truly chase happiness. It’s like the bunny chasing after the carrot while running on a treadmill. He was making the point that since happiness is ever-changing, it should never be sought after, and women just need to be happy with where they are and stop seeking something that can never be attained.
This is where I didn’t fully agree. I believe that happiness can be attained, and it can be constant—only when it is found from going within. Just because there will be moments of other emotions grabbing our attention because life is going to LIFE, it doesn’t mean that the inherent happiness found within doesn’t exist anymore. The problem that the world is having is that a woman cannot cultivate inner happiness until she knows what she wants on an intimate level with herself. She cannot be in environments that don’t support her desire to explore her inner world and find answers that can lead to her happiness. With the majority of the male population feeling like her desire to do that is selfish and wrong, women rarely feel comfortable putting themselves and their happiness first. Because of her pure heart, she refuses to be seen as a bad person and holds on until life makes it very clear for her to get on track.
Discovering Your Happiness
This blog is here to help you discover the truth of what you want without having to spend years trying to figure it out. I’ve done that for you! All you have to do now is figure out what you need to do to make this happen within yourself. This dedication to your happiness will turn your life onto the path of purpose, fulfillment, and abundance. I wish this feeling on the whole world! And it starts with you. So thank you for being here and reading this post!
So, without further ado, let’s get into what women want and need on an intimate level to cultivate inner happiness and external fulfillment.
Full Expression + Stability = Happiness
Expression: The need to embrace and articulate every aspect of her being. The full expression of her truths allows a woman to connect deeply, authentically, and intuitively with herself and the world around her, leading to a juicy and free life! This is the feeling a woman is seeking; she wants to feel free. But she cannot find it in the external world, so she has to energetically move it out of her body and bring it into the external world through expression.
Stability: For a woman to feel soft, sensual, and divine in her feminine nature, she needs a stable foundation in every area of her life. This stability allows her to relax, be present, and fully embrace her feminine essence in all situations and environments. By taking control of your life and being the "adulterer-adult" you wish could come and save you and take control of your life and organize it and lead it in the right direction and provide financial stability, you have to create a stable environment to feel relaxed, at ease, and like a success in life.
How Can She Fulfill Her Desire For Expression?
- Emotional Expression
She needs the freedom to feel and express a full range of emotions without judgment. This includes expressing joy, sadness, anger, love, and everything in between.
She requires safe spaces where her emotions are acknowledged, respected, and validated. This can be with a partner or friends or in personal practices like journaling or therapy.
She needs to be able to communicate her emotions clearly and effectively, whether verbally or through other mediums like writing or art.
- Desire Expression
She needs to recognize and acknowledge her own desires, be they personal goals, ambitions, or sexual needs.
She needs to feel empowered to pursue her desires without fear of judgment or failure.
She needs to have open dialogues about her desires with those who matter, such as partners, friends, or mentors.
- Pleasure Expression
She needs to understand that pleasure is a vital part of life and feel free to seek and celebrate it in all healthy and conscious forms.
She needs to feel confident and free in her sexuality, exploring what gives her pleasure without shame or guilt.
- Sensual Expression
She needs to embrace and love her body as it is, feeling beautiful and confident in her own skin.
She needs to be in tune with her senses and use them to fully experience the world—touch, taste, smell, sight, vibration, and sound.
She requires deep, intimate connections with partners where she can express her sensuality and femininity freely.
- Creative Expression
She needs to engage in creative activities such as painting, dancing, writing, or any other form of art that allows her to express her inner self.
She needs to feel free to think creatively, propose new ideas, and innovate without fear of criticism.
She needs to pursue personal projects or hobbies that bring joy and a sense of accomplishment.
- Movement Expression
She needs to move her body in ways that feel good, whether through dance, yoga, exercise, or any form of physical activity that she enjoys.
She desires to be present and feel good in her body, appreciating its strength, flexibility, and capability.
She needs an active lifestyle that incorporates movement into daily routines, allowing for the release of stress and the expression of vitality.
- Expressing Needs
She needs to be clear about what she needs from herself and others and communicate these needs effectively.
She needs to know how to set and enforce healthy boundaries to protect her well-being.
She needs to feel empowered to advocate for herself, ensuring her needs are met in personal, professional, and social settings.
Once you get a taste of what it feels like to be expressed in various categories, you become hungry for more expression, and the best part about this happiness you can still have a family, a career, and love.
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